If Your Body is the Temple...

Recently I've been on a fitness and healthy eating kick. For several years now, I've known I needed to get in better shape and start making healthier choices. Why the sudden change? 'Cause I'm not getting younger! I want to be around for a long time. Hopefully long enough to see my grandchildren and a few great-grandchildren. But with poor choices, I knew that wasn't going to happen.

So a couple of weeks ago, I started working out with the "Turbo Fire" workout program. It's been one of the best choices I've ever made in a workout video series. I like that it doesn't take too long to do, but I still get in a really good workout.

Another reason that I made the choice to start getting healthier is because God is showing me more and more the importance of taking care of His temple-my body! It definitely hasn't been easy so far, but I'm loving being in better shape and feeling better. It's been good to have more energy and to feel happier.

This is just a taste of how things are changing. Ill make updates more often and try to put some more "life" stuff on here as often as I can. I'm staying pretty busy with work and just stuff, but I don't want to let my blog go down the drain.

Stuck in Reverse

 Have you ever wondered why people go back to the very thing(s) that messed them up at some point? Maybe some sort of mistake, sin or even someone that should have been forgotten, learned from and moved past? What is it about human nature that makes things that are painful seem yet so attractive? What is it about the bad things that make us forget to weigh the consequences?
 Also, people are silly, silly beings.

What Do I Do With Being Broken?

 So what do you do when you had something really good, but then you turn around and you've carelessly tossed it aside for something that seemed better at the time? For me, I lost my mind. Yeah, pretty much obsessed and stressed till I couldn't sleep. I guess the saying, "You never know how good it is until it's gone" is true... I never really knew how good I had it.

 The only thing that I can do is learn from my mistakes. Yes, I've made mistakes, and I wish I could take them back. It's almost like I don't really know where to go next. I realize now that I had started to sort of build my life around that one thing. Maybe that's why I've lost it. Maybe because God is relentless until He owns it all. He's a jealous God and demands first place. I gave first place to something else. The sad thing is that I've done this whole thing before. Obviously, I didn't learn anything the first time around. I think I'm learning now.

 One thing I'm learning is that I can't keep my heart whole. There is NO POSSIBLE WAY on this earth to keep my heart from shattering. I've always considered myself one of those "bleed silently" people. Now I see how dumb that is. We're all broken people. None of us are whole. I feel like all of those well-meaning but crazy stupid people who say it's possible to keep your heart unbroken if you do x, y or z set a lot of us up for huge disappointment. 

 Obviously, I can't blame anyone but myself for what happened. But I feel like existing without experiencing a broken heart is an unrealistic expectation. Something, or someone, will break your heart before you leave your earthly existence. The question is, how will you choose to handle it when you're broken?

 Maybe broken is where God wants us. Broken, where we realize how much we need a Savior. Broken, where we see how lost, hopeless and alone we are when we try to control things outside His control. Broken, where we're forced to cry out for shelter.

 I heard a song today that resonated with exactly what's been going through my head and heart the past couple weeks.

 

I'm thinking that maybe, being broken isn't so bad after all....

Kony 2012

  So I'm just now hearing and realizing how awful this man is. I've heard of Joseph Kony before, but I never bothered to do some research and really find out for myself what the big deal is. I wish I had taken time to research before now. 'Cause it's a big deal. A really big deal.

  I saw some people post a Vimeo video on Facebook sponsored by Invisible Children about Kony. It was horrifying. I really had no idea what was going on. Now that I do, I know I need to do something.

  I've never really been a person for latching on to just any cause. I never did the research and put in the time to educate myself about the different things going on. Passion 2012 really changed my perspective about that. Christine Caine, one of the speakers this year, said something that really convicted me: "I am set free to offer freedom to the enslaved." Joseph Kony holds thousands of children in bondage in several of the most horrible forms of slavery. Through his reign of terror, children are forced to carry guns and kill parents, family members and friends. Girls are forced in to prostitution. Children are forced in to hard labor.

  This is definitely a cause I plan to get involved in. Take just a few minutes to watch the video, and pray about whether God would have you to get involved.

http://vimeo.com/37119711

Pain

 Sometimes life just hurts. Like today. And yesterday. All the way back to Sunday. Yes, the pain started Sunday. And it's intensified since Monday. I can't stop the ache, and I don't want to stop it. 

Some people say that they don't know what it is to feel anymore. I used to think they were just being dramatic or attempting and failing to be profound. I've found they knew a thing or two. This ache is really all I feel. 

 I'm tired. I've shut down. I've put up too many walls. No one can get through them anymore. I'm stronger than I used to be, and it takes more to break through. Now it takes the pain to make me cry. I can't even cry anymore. 

 I think I've held on way too long. Now that it's time to let go I don't really know how. Maybe one day I'll learn how.

Just 'Cause

I don't think there's going to be much of a rhyme or reason to this post. It's mostly just because I want to write. I've been neglecting my blog lately. I feel bad about it, but I've been way too busy to update it lately. I'm going to try to do better about that.

Christmas is over, the house is empty, presents have been opened, and I've eaten too much. This year didn't really "feel" like Christmas... I guess it's because I've been too busy to really get into the Christmas mood. But I was really happy to spend time with my family. I've seen the importance of being with them. Time is getting shorter and we're all changing. There are only two "kids" left in the fam. Grayson turned twenty on Christmas. I feel old... Haha. Before long, someone will leave. It's real, it's not a future fear. It's coming up in just a few short years here... Wow.

Also, my friends are getting old. School, jobs, dating, marriage, babies, houses, weddings, love, leaving... The round of life has finally "found" us. We knew it would. Just, who knew it would come up this fast?!

Life continues to get better. God is good that way. He never ceases to amaze me. I am totally undeserving of His love and how He continues to show me His grace and love. I've made so many mistakes, but He *always* shows up. I tend to mess up more when I'm angry and/or confused, but He has always held me through all the mistakes and disasters. There's still a long way to go, but I love that God is patient, and that I don't have to do this on my own.

Small, Little, Somewhat of An Update

So. Here's the unveiling of the project that occupied my thoughts and some of my time recently: Stranger(Still) finished recording their new demo album. Yes, it's pretty amazing! The guys worked really hard and gave all they had. It turned out SO good. I'm glad that it's over... Haha! It was just a tad of a stressful project to take on, especially right at the end of the semester. But God was good, and our prayer is that He is glorified through our efforts and talents.